Maya Angelou famously said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Clearly, she was talking about Stephen Botte.
We met at a Rose Garden Orangetheory class. He had been quietly dating one of my dearest friends, figured out who I was when the coach teased me in class, and… the secret was over. From there forward, he would be a constant source of celebration – birthdays, Christmas dinners, a borrowed +1 – always delivered with a buzz of energy and wrapped in inclusiveness. Stephen was always the person you wanted at the table.
Stephen’s soul shined so bright, he made everyone around him feel like they were the center of his Universe. He’s the only man who ever called me “Love”, as if that was my given name. I heard stories yesterday at the celebration of his life from at least 50 other women who wore the same title. I was going to write that we’d “earned” the designation, but with Stephen you never had to earn his affection – he gave it freely.
We went camping last fall up near the Russian River with my Airstream, Bella. He was in the middle of a new drug trial in San Francisco at the time. Though he was tired, he looked at everything through a lens of both awe and peace. We walked the beach near Jenner and he methodically stacked rocks in the cairn formation you see along trails and beaches. I never asked what wishes he made with his rock stacks, but I pray they came through over the next year. He sat outside Bella and drank his morning coffee, slowly, soaking it all in… and he swore food tasted better in the woods. As with everything “Stephen” – he drank it all in, every moment of it – capturing yet another experience in the book of his life.
Stephen – the man, the soul, the absolute enigma – was a walking celebration, just by being himself. He inherently believed in everyone’s ability to be wildly successful – in work, in love, in family, and in life. He didn’t know any other path. Listening to others yesterday – friends who had known Stephen for 30 years – I began to grasp the vast impact he’d had on this world. Friends flew in from across the country. Seventy-five colleagues attended from his company (Pure Storage), including a teammate who traveled all the way from Dayton, Ohio just to say goodbye. Stephen packed more into 58 years than some could deliver in multiple lifetimes. He touched more people and delivered more hope and more delight… and more Light.
… “people will never forget how you made them feel.” It’s just one of the many reasons people will never forget Stephen Botte. It would be really easy to focus on his loss right now… but I’m going to commit to doing my best to do better to continue the legacy he left. The world needs more kindness, more hope, and more enthusiasm for new ideas. I can’t replace Stephen, but I can do more… and fill some of the gap he has left behind. Most of us can… and he’d love that. If we’re all doing a little more, to be a little better – his memory never fades, and a very important part of him will always still be here with us.
Godspeed to you, Stephen… May we live up to the ideals you fought for, continue to breathe life into the communities you built, model in our daily walks the inclusiveness you created, and be the Love that you are. I will miss you, for all my days.